A Whirlwind Hurricane of thoughts
Given the chance, I would just throw everything away and freaking hop on the next flight to God-knows-where for a freaking holiday. I'm so tired! Assignments, presentation, classes...are all bogging me down. I'm so convinced that the University is out there to kill all final year students. Hang them by the throat and then watch in glee as we drop like flies one by one.
Every single day! Every single week!!!! ASSIGNMENTS DUE...PRESENTATION DUE!!! Trust me...I'm going mad!!!
The worst thing is. Even when we fall sick, we have to haul our asses to class and hand in our work just in case they'll mark us down.
I'm having the worst case of food poisoning. Yeah yeah yeah...my fault for being a little too lazy to cook and instead grab the two dumplings in the fridge which was there for the past 2 weeks (which i didn't know) and ate it. What did it result in? This...a worn down, feverish, pukish and sickly Amy.
Honestly, its amazing what I do to myself. Bumping my head on the computer table, hitting my knee on the bed, cutting my finger accidently. I love myself to much. Now, to top it off, I'm poisoning myself.
I guess I need someone to love me before I torture myself. HhAHHAhaH...darn...has anyone been any more klutzy and blur as I am?
I really need to take a vacation. A long one. Where nobody can find me or nobody knows me. Maybe Timbuktoo isn't such a bad idea eh? I'm so sick of K.L. Don't get me wrong, I'm not full of hatred or despise for my country. It's just that I want a new breathe of fresh air. I want to experience something new. I want to meet different people. I want to do different things. I want to see different things.
Maybe I need some excitment in my boring and redundant life. I need surprises...I need someone who just randomly picks me up and drag me to a brand new, undiscovered place.
People say I'm a confused soul. I don't really know what I want....it's true. I'm lost. I guess I need someone to help me find back my path. I'm lost with what I really want to do and I'm lost with my choices of guys. Arghh...I think too much sometimes....maybe it's best to dump me in a forest and let me be with all the baboons.
I remembered, someone asked me this question. "Are you really, truly happy in life?" Am I? I mean....i don't have any complaints. I'm contented with what i have. But am I really happy? What is happiness anyway?
But hey...I'm the kind of person who doesn't think for myself and instead more for the people around me. If they're happy...so am I.
Then, he proceeded to ask me this question. "Who is the real Amelia? Who is she?" I looked in the mirror and I can't seem to reply. Who am I really?
I need help.......or maybe I need to find myself agian........find that lost soul in the city so big.....
posted by Amelia @ 6:50 PM
4 Comments:
oh Amy... don't be like that. no need to find urself since it's there, it's there inside u, I know u know. maybe all the pressures surrounding u make u refuse to admit the 'you' inside you.
ur final year, u're gonna make it. When it's all over, it's all over! At that time go where u wanted to go to take a rest.... and u'll find urself inside ur own body.. u'll see *cheers...
Perhaps we should get that poor little lost baboon a compass,but i doubt the baboon knows how to use it...hehe =) 25? 4 years down the road feeling confused is not the best of ideas i reckon. Life is full of oppurtunities and excitement. Is just a matter of how u wanna grab it and put it in full throttle. There are so much stuff to do ,amazing people to meet(e.g yuya *wink*), places to visit, planes to ride, beaches to swim,bungees to jump,tattoos to tat,piercing to poke..haha. Just hang in there Sakura!
Yes..Aura...Am on desperate dose.Am gonna suck you dry, Aka-Chan! Board the next plane alrite!! hehe. Hopefully u could come on end of November...i have all the great musician lined up! Imported a guitarist from Britain as well! Woo hoo..Its all hell break loose.hehe. Hope sakura dont mind me using her lovely blog for my own interest. Hek*Hek*
"Every minutes counts in everyday, besides how many could there be?"
Always there for you
Kristo Suto
Happiness defines as follow:
1. Characterized by good luck; fortunate.
2. Enjoying,showing,or marked by pleasure,satisfaction,or joy.
3. Being especially well-adapted; felicitous:
4. Cheerful; willing: happy to help.
5. Make a fool out of ourselves with Vodka.
you said that u r happy if peepz around are...Well!I totally
fulfills the top 5. Am sure Aka chan is too!..haha. Cherioos.
Aw...Angel... I know how you feel. It's confusing, ne...not really knowing what you want or what's going to happen. But that's life, ne... and once you do find it out, it'll be all okay! So stick in there!! Ganbatte ne! And don't forget to just sit back and take a break from all the hectic stress revolving around you. *hugs*
~Liss
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