At excatly 22 years ago, a baby girl was born just in time for dinner. Not knowing what life ahead would bring and what pain or happiness will be experienced.

Yup...that baby girl is me. Apparently, I was born on a Tuesday too! What a coincidence huh? In some ways, my birthday is not a day to be celebrated for me. But for my mother who had to go through so much pain to bring me into this world and then caring for me and grooming me into who I am today.

I guess in the end, it is my mother whom I want to thank. I'm not sure I've been the best daughter in the world. I know for a fact I do dissapoint and make my mom sad at times, but I promise the tears and worries will be less from now on.

Hitting 22...nah...not an extra wrinkle...yet! ehehhe....I don't feel any difference at all. But I do know that I can honestly say that I've been through life at least quarter of it, experience a few stuff and can look at things in a broader and brighter perspective.

I remembered when I was what....19-20? Yeah...my mom said those were one of the most difficult age to handle. I guess I was young, naive and like a sponge, ready to absorb everything and was easily influenced.

At that age, most of us are trying to find who we are actually. We are then evolved into this being that if you notice, is part of your friends and the influences from your surroundings. In the end, who are you actually? What is it that you really want? What is it that makes you happy?

For example, girls tend to follow their friends in their actions, the way they dress, talk and even act. For guys...boy oh boy...I went through hell with one of them at that age. I remembered having to go through his playfull mode with his peers where all he thought was gaming and gaming and what....MORE GAMING....and look where it got him right now....he regrets it like hell...and he knows I know it....hehehe....

We hit 21...and suddenly, like a dream, we wake up and we sorta get smarter. We realized that all these things we've been doing is plain childish. Sure...life is short...we should have as much fun as possible. But honestly...life is NOT that short and there are goals and responsibilities that we have to take upon us. Life is not all about playing, having fun and doing what we want. Sometimes, our actions will always cause hurt to another. But that's something we will never know.

I used to take my studies easily. Thinking...fine...if I fail...I'll just have to repeat my semester. But then if you think back, your parents are working their butts off to put you through a year of college. And going to a private one ain't cheap. Then there are other expenses like books, fees and stuff like that. Do we owe them to just waste away, have fun and play our way through? Or do we owe them at least a diploma or degree...something that they can be proud of?

I'm thankful that I've met really great and honest friends at college. Someone who will teach and lead me to the right path. Sure we have our fun. But we know our limits. We know when to stop and get serious.

Friends....well...there's the good and bad. Sometimes, we always get blinded by the bad ones and ignore the good ones. Great advices tend to fall on deaf ears because we never want to hear negative things. In the end, we get influenced by the bad advices and where to we go from there? A dead end.

I always think...sure we take advices from friends. But in the end, who are we to depend on? Ourselves. we have to think and weigh what is right and wrong. Nobody will know what makes you happy except yourself right?

But I've made an observation. Guys...well...they get influenced by friends a little more easier than girls. Why? Simple...peer pressure. Ego....whatever you wanna call it. Girls...more emotional...they follow their heart...ending up sometimes getting more hurt than they should be. BleAhHhH....

Sometimes I wished there was a balance of everything in life. Guys who don't go to the extreme and have a moderation and girls who don't get too emotional and a little stronger. But I guess God has a plan for all of us. A lesson to be learnt....

I can't say I've seen it all or experienced it all. I'm still learning. But honestly, the things I've done when i'm 19-20...is something I'm not very proud off. I hurt alot of people with my stubborness, naivity and childishness. I even let go of a guy who would've meant alot to me. Something...I will continue to regret for the rest of my life.

The reason to that? I was blinded and when my friends told me I deserved better...I really believed I did. When they said that I could do better and have a more cuter guy...I listened to them. But in the end...is looks all that matter? I've learnt that the hard way. Looks as I've said many times before....is like a beautiful sculpture. You can stare at it for hours a day but eventually get bored because inside this sculpture is empty clay.

I guess...in the end, we are all trying to find that one person who would understand at least a part of ourselves and just love us for who we are. A screwed up? An asshole? Hell yeah...they accept it all. But...nah....it has came to the point where I looked back and realized....why do you need that special someone at this moment when you have so many special everyone around you?

Yes...I mean...quality friends. Friends who let you have a shoulder to cry on, dash to be by your side when you're sick and someone who will never forget your birthday. Friends who will only support you and never tell you otherwise. Friends who will give you a little push from the back in whatever decisions you make, bad or good. Friends who will say to you that....as long as you're happy....I'll be happy.....Now....that is what my 22 years of life is all about. Friends and family.

I'll be stepping out into the working world soon....wonder if there'll be more pain and shock waiting for me. What will I learn? Who will I meet? What will I become? I guess...we'll wait and see....