You found me...(part 2)

You found me...(part 2)

Somewhere along the way...I started to lose myself. I became scared because I couldn't bring myself to develop feelings for any guys I went out with. I even thought to myself "Is there something wrong with me? Have I forgotten how to love someone? Will I ever even feel that ever agian?"

I honestly begin to believe that I was going to turn heartless and cold. Feeling nothing but numbness.

I kept on telling myself that I'm happy with where I am right now. I've great friends supporting me and I didn't need anyone. Even more a guy.

I mean...who needs to be in a relationship only to get hurt? It's like asking for it isn't it? Asking to get hurt. To feel all those negative feelings such as jealousy and insecurities.

Why choose to go down that particular road when you can choose the easy way out?

But...when you came into my life...I started to feel differently. Of course I was scared and without a doubt I still am.

I think its more because I started to doubt my concept about 'relationships' and 'love' after believing in it for such a long time.

Then you started to ask me out and we spent almost every weekend together. I enjoyed your company because you made me comfortable with you. I could talk to you and I knew you wouldn't judge me.

The more we went out, the more I wanted to be with you.

I began to miss you when I don't see you and you invaded my mind almost 24/7. Like a sneaky little thief...you begin to sneak into my heart and eventually stole it.

As I've always told you. You're different from the other guys. But in a good way.

Maybe that's why you scare me so much. Because I feel like this is a dream...and what if I wake up and have to face reality that you're not here with me.

I guess...I've alot of issues to sort out...especially if I'm begining to believe agian.

You told me that you don't expect me to trust you just yet and that you'll gain it. But you need me to try to believe in you.

I can't promise you that it's going to be easy. I can't promise you that I will even succeed in doing so. But I will promise you that I will try.

-end of part2...part 3 coming up-